Logging into LinkedIn will have you feeling like there’s something you aren’t doing to get the results you want because everyone else is showcasing their highlight reels and groundbreaking milestones. Closer back home, the people in your team have hit their quarterly targets, you haven’t and there’s always that one person who seems to have it all together. Always on time, completing tasks, getting compliments for how great they’re doing their job. On some days you feel like you’re on top of the world slashing every goal you had on your to-do list and on other days you can’t pull yourself out of that social media rut and before you know it, you’re spending very little time doing productive things. 

The lifestyle #hustleculture has us believing that productivity is running ourselves to the ground with work and putting in an insane number of hours if we’re to produce anything significant. True as it may be, the working hard (hustling) part, does it really equate to productivity? Or have we just become busy bees who have so much to do and very little time to do it? With our attention spans getting smaller by every social media invention, is there hope for us who can’t commit to completing tasks within given periods? 

In her book, The Productivity Zone, Penny Zenker introduces a wonderful side to productivity that makes it something achievable – one that we can easily adapt to. She talks about how productivity isn’t related to time which is a concept we don’t have control over. You can’t stop time from moving and you can’t make it go faster. What we can control is our energy and how we can distribute it to the time we have. 

The problem we have is that we use a blanket understanding of productivity as defined by everyone else but us – and we measure how productive we are against other people’s results. You’ve probably googled how to increase your productivity and found the same old techniques; manage your time well, eliminate distractions, wake up early etc. But I’ve come to understand and define productivity personally by understanding the aspects associated with it. Elaborate for yourself what the following mean and how you can get the best out of yourself to ensure that you are truly showing up as your highest self every day;

• Purpose – What is your why? Why do you need to do what you’re doing? Is it more than just what you can benefit from it? Structure your goals in a way that makes you feel you’re accomplishing a purpose. Make it meaningful. What’s the bigger picture of you being more productive? It could be that your work impacts people’s lives or makes things easier for others or simply gives you a sense of accomplishment. Think of yourself as a piece to a puzzle without which that puzzle wouldn’t be complete. Assign a great deal of importance to what you do even if it doesn’t look like it.
• Language – We all have inner narratives that shape our self-view. If you’re constantly putting yourself down when you’re not productive then you’ll keep repeating the same cycle. Become aware of how you talk to yourself as you navigate your work. If something isn’t working out at the moment, don’t be so quick to label yourself a failure. Ask for help and know that there’s always a solution. If a day didn’t go so well, the sun will rise again tomorrow and you will try yet again until you get it right. Treat yourself with kindness when you miss the mark – you are a work in progress. Talk yourself into being the most productive person you know because it’s true if you believe it is.
• Focus – we spend nearly 47% of the time we’re awake thinking about something other than what we’re doing. That’s a lot of time spent wandering and with an attention span of 8 seconds, the future doesn’t look promising in terms of productivity. Attention is one of the best assets we have and it can be used to destroy or build us. Just like technological algorithms are built to give you exactly what you want – to capture your attention for longer, you can also set up the systems that keep you focused for longer. Know what your objectives are, define exactly how you’ll meet those objectives, eliminate the distractions keeping you from achieving your goal, simplify the process and do more of what keeps you in your focus zone. This requires you to learn how your mind functions; some people work better with background music, practicing aromatherapy, working in non-formal environments – where and what time is your brain most alert?
• Physiology – a healthy body, a healthy mind, a healthy spirit. Your overall well-being determines how productive you are. If you’re physically unwell, the pain will limit how effectively you get anything done. Same as your mental health – if you’re struggling to keep your head above water because of depression, anxiety, stress, or any other mental health issues then concentrating and putting in the effort will be hard. Productivity is not about how much you get done but how well you do what you need to do. Food affects your mood and we should consume meals that boost our serotonin levels which is a chemical in our brains that helps regulate our moods. Eat more healthy foods like fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein. Don’t forget to drink enough water, exercise, and spend time connecting with nature. Operate from a place of wholeness in all aspects of your being. Seek therapy if your mental health is affecting your work. Indulge more in what makes you happy – sometimes that’s all we need to get us in the zone.

Three Personal Productivity Methods to Use

• The Eisenhower Matrix

On a piece of paper, draw a large plus sign; the X-axis (i.e the horizontal line) represents the level of urgency with the left side being the most urgent and the right side the least urgent. Your Y-axis (vertical line) represents importance, with the lowest importance at the bottom, highest at the top. You’ll have four boxes: Urgent and Important, Less Urgent but still Important, Less Important but Urgent, and Less important and Less Urgent. You can place all your tasks on a continuum within the boxes, giving you a clear visual understanding of what needs to be done now and what can (and should) wait.

• Pomodoro/Sprints 

Break your tasks into manageable bits – decide on what you need to work on first, do it for 25minutes, take a five-minute break, repeat that four times then take a longer break – a 15-minute break. It works like a rewarding system. If 25 minutes is too short a period to complete a task, you can stretch the time to fit your needs.

• Eating Live Frogs: Do the Worst Thing First 

Mark Twain is quoted saying, “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” Start with the most challenging and time-consuming tasks – when your energy levels are high and your concentration is at maximum. Once you get the hard stuff out of the way, do the easier tasks which may not take too much of your time and may increase your productivity levels. Don’t keep procrastinating on what needs to get done first.

References

• https://productivityreport.org/what-is-productivity/ 
• https://www.amazon.com/Productivity-Zone-Stop-Tug-Time/dp/0986307505/
• https://science.sciencemag.org/content/330/6006/932.full 
• https://www.purerecoveryca.com/foods-to-boost-serotonin-mental-health-mood/ 
• https://www.nwpc.com/foods-promote-reduce-mental-well/ 
• https://blog.doist.com/personal-productivity-methods/ 
• https://sketchplanations.com/the-pomodoro-technique 
• https://www.boxuk.com/insight/the-eisenhower-matrix-a-practical-prioritisation-technique/ 

Do you have them in mind already? Great! How did they make you feel? Or how did you feel when you were around them? I’m assuming the words range between appreciated, loved, cared for, valued, wanted, and other wonderful feelings. 

Now let’s cross the bridge to the other dark side. Think of the WORST person you’ve ever met and think of how they made you feel. I bet this is a memory you didn’t want us to bring up – my intention is not to harm you or bring up any past trauma. Let’s circle back to the bad feelings…. did that person make you feel insignificant, lazy, unwanted, crazy, unloved, unworthy? 

The purpose of bringing up both scenarios is for you to see how people show up EMOTIONALLY to others which is how Emotionally Intelligent they are. If the same questions were posed to people who know you, where would you fall? Food for thought.

The science of emotions

Neuroscience defines emotions as intricate reactions the body has to stimuli. A part of our brain is called the emotional brain and its function is to cause quick and automated responses to events around us. It helps us determine whether someone/something is safe or not which results in our fight or flight reaction. 

If we perceive a threat, our hearts start beating faster, blood pressure rises and we have short breaths – this emotional reaction happens unconsciously and instantly which may result in feelings of nervousness or anxiety. Our feelings happen when our brain registers emotional reactions or changes. 

Emotions are very important to how we function as a whole. They impact how we make decisions, behave and perform. How you feel determines how productive or unproductive you are. Name every emotion from the time you woke up to now. Make the connection between your emotions and how you performed or behaved. 

Positive emotions such as love, joy, pride, peace, hope, pride, and gratitude increase our dopamine levels which makes us more interested in activities and learning. They also make us more creative and open to new ideas. Negative emotions limit and weaken our thinking capacities which makes us biased, lose interest or our ability to think rationally.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Simply put, Emotional Intelligence (EI) also called Emotional Quotient (EQ) is how smart you are with perceiving, understanding, and managing your own emotions and those of others.

There are a few models of EI but I have found the Genos Model of Emotional Intelligence to be the most comprehensive one. It consists of a set of skills mainly; 

• Self-awareness – recognizing how you feel and how it affects your behavior, decisions, thoughts, and performance. You know who you are; strengths and weaknesses.
• Awareness of others – you perceive, recognize, and understand other people’s emotions, concerns, and feelings. Also called empathy – putting yourself in their shoes.
• Authenticity – you stay true to yourself and express exactly how you feel without fear. You don’t dismiss your or anyone’s emotions and you genuinely care about them.
• Emotional Reasoning – you use the information you have gathered from yourself and others to make appropriate decisions.
• Self- Management – you handle your mood, emotions, time, and behavior in the best ways and you seek to improve your emotional state.
• Positive influence – you leave an impact on other people by how you manage your emotions through accepting feedback, solving problems, and recognizing and supporting the people around you. 

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

You may be the most intelligent person in the room or your place of work but without Emotional Intelligence, the chances of you being completely fulfilled in life may be low. We are emotional beings and everything always comes back to relationships; with ourselves and others and EI is at the core of relationships. 

EI brings the balance you need because it helps you cater to all aspects of your being. If you become CEO of a company based on merit, you will need EI skills to manage people and the stressors the position brings. 

Emotional Intelligence matters because:

• Your productivity greatly improves at school or work. EI adds to your wow factor of performance. You are a cut above the rest if you can easily manage the technical aspects of your work/school and the relational aspects. EI helps you be in control of workplace stressors and effortlessly get along with your colleagues, which contributes to career excellence. Research shows that employees with high EI levels display a 20% higher productivity rate than those with low EI levels. The World Economic Forum lists Emotional Intelligence as one of the top ten must-have skills in the workplace today.
• Your relationships thrive. EI gives you an understanding of your and other people’s emotions so it becomes easy to build and maintain relationships. With EI, you make people feel heard and seen which gives you leverage with them. When people know that you’re not dismissive of their emotions, they easily trust you. You also become a better communicator of how you feel which not only makes your relationships stronger but also long-lasting.
• Your mental health improves. Your mental health heavily relies on your Emotional Intelligence. If you’re not in control of your emotions, you can develop mental health issues like stress, anxiety, and depression which may make your everyday life more difficult. A lack of awareness of other people’s feelings can result in weak relationships which may leave you isolated and lonely. Without EI, you lack the right social skills to get along with people and you can find yourself on the losing end because you don’t inspire performance in others – all of which can affect your self-esteem and identity.
• You are in good physical health. We have a mind-body connection which means whatever goes on in our emotional brain affects our bodies and vice-versa. If stress builds up because you can’t control your emotions, it will start to show up physically in form of fatigue, restlessness, irritability, high blood pressure, cardiac attacks, and strokes. The more you invest in building your Emotional Intelligence, the better you’re able to avoid and manage stress.
• You become happier and have more peace. EI helps you cultivate more positive emotions than negative ones which enhances your overall well-being. If you’re happy at work and in your personal life you feel more fulfilled in life. You get more confidence to meet and connect with people because you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say and how you make them feel.

How to build your Emotional Intelligence

1. Emotional Self-awareness

Map out your emotions and how they affect your life. The key is forming a connection and judgment free-zone within yourself where you aim to understand how you feel. Aim at becoming more conscious of your feelings without burying any of them. You can start by recognizing when you’re experiencing positive and negative feelings. Sit with them – feel, understand and be comfortable with them. How often do you experience certain emotions? What do you do when you experience them? Can you label your emotions? How do they affect your decisions? Practicing Mindfulness is a great way to make you more present with your emotions while accepting them. You can watch videos with guided mindfulness practices for a start.

2. Emotional Awareness of Others

To have more fulfilling and lasting relationships, we need to be emotionally aware of others which means we are considerate of their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. The easiest way to do this is to train yourself to be truthfully interested in others by being fully present with them and practicing active listening. Think of how you would feel if you were in their shoes and how you’d want them to respond to you. Pick up on non-verbal cues because they communicate how people are feeling just as much as words do. If someone is fidgeting, it could be that they’re nervous or anxious. Think of conflict as a way to come up with solutions for the problem at hand not as a personal attack – this way you can maintain healthy relationships.

3. Authenticity

Aim at staying as genuine as you can. People connect with honesty and vulnerability in you when they see that you aren’t afraid of your emotions and you own up to them. Openly admit and express both positive and negative emotions keeping in mind when to do it, how to do it, and to whom. Authenticity also involves honoring your commitments and following up with your word; people trust you when you show them that you do what you say.

4. Emotional Reasoning

Now that you are aware of your and other people’s feelings, you should use what you know to guide your thought process when making decisions. Before you react, ask yourself what the outcome of your emotions will be – use facts and technical information to influence your decisions. What do you already know and can use to emotionally respond in the best way possible? A case in point is with many advertising and marketing materials; they use emotional appeal to sell their ideas and products – they know how to use the emotions of others to get buy-in. Emotional Intelligence makes you more creative and expansive in how you communicate.

5. Emotional Self-Management

Life is generally not a walk in the park and we’re constantly met by difficulties that upset us and worry us. Learning how to control your emotions will help you manage your stress, behavior, and moods. You should be aware of the things you can control and the ones you can’t. You can control your words, responses, actions, and thoughts. In the heat of the moment, you can try breathing and grounding exercises to help you calm down. A good grounding exercise is the 5-4-3-2-1 method where you name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. A simple breathing exercise is triangular breathing where you breathe in for 3 seconds, hold it in for 3 seconds, and breathe out for 3 seconds until you calm down. Conscious breathing is a powerful tool to help you relax, strengthen and open up your mind and body. Alternatively, you can take time out until you process all your emotions.

6. Positive Influence

People can read your emotional reactions because they show up in your behavior towards them but you can influence how they perceive you by positively inspiring them. Work towards being someone people love to be around by being pleasant and welcoming. Make it easy for people to relate with you by being more open and by supporting them. Encourage and empower others and be there for them. This may be especially hard for introverts and people with social anxiety but it doesn’t have to be. The call here to is have good energy not to necessarily make friends with everyone. Be good and have pure intentions and people will be drawn to you.

The one thing you should take away

Craig Ferguson is quoted saying:

“Ask yourself the three things you must always ask yourself before you say anything.” 

1) Does this need to be said?

2) Does this need to be said by me? 

3) Does this need to be said by me now?”

References

• https://www.weforum.org/reports/the-future-of-jobs 
• https://www.capgemini.com/gb-en/news/emotional-intelligence-report/ 
• https://www.genosinternational.com/emotional-intelligence/ 
• https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-eq.htm?pdf=13508 
• https://www.inc.com/justin-bariso/why-emotionally-intelligent-minds-embrace-3-question-rule.html 
• https://ysjournal.com/the-emotional-brain/ 
• https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/feeling-our-emotions/